So one of my friends was having a party at his house, and this one guy was being a total dick and my friend wanted him to leave. My friend was pretty drunk, and apparently the other guy was hopped up majorly on coke, and the guy was refusing to leave so it turned into a fight except this guy goes crazy and pulls out a knife and STABS MY FRIEND TWELVE FUCKING TIMES, puncturing both of his lungs and leaving stab wounds on my friends lower stomach, back, and neck and my fiance was HOLDING HIS BLEEDING OUT WOUNDS AND CALLING 911
And yeah it was pretty touch and go for a bit there but my friend made a full recovery and came home yesterday so my fiance and I got him this cake.
He loved it.
C’mon guys. My friend got stabbed and we got him a sorry you got stabbed cake.
I told him I’d make him internet famous, don’t let me down guys.
I don’t know why Frank insisted on bringing me to this dinner party, I don’t even know what to talk about and everyone’s already having a conversation, it’d be awkward to butt in. A steakhouse? Really? I’m a pescetarian, Frank. We’ve known each other ten years. Nobody’s even bothered to comment on my coat or offered a tummy rub. Your friends are shit, Frank.